I’ll say it again: they sure don’t make them like this 1974 Hammer production anymore. On second thought, have you seen Hammer 2012 THE WOMAN IN BLACK? You should. This time around, Christopher Lee’s more than ready to rule the earth as the ever-impressive count Dracula; with the help of some prominent men and a virulent mutant strain that recalls the death plague. Why does he want to get rid of the entire population? So he can play TITANIC Leonardo DiCaprio and be king of the world!… with his vampire bride at his side—TV’s ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS Joanna Lumley taking over Stephanie Beachman as Jessica Van Hessling. But before he can achieve that, he’ll have to fight the ever-creepy looking Peter Crushing who has yet to kill him once and for all. Not an easy task if based on Crushing’s failed exploits in past films.
COUNT DRACULA AND HIS VAMPIRE BRIDE (aka UK THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA) is the next to last in the film series. Little was I aware of that when I watched it. And to tell you the truth, I’m glad, for, as a stand alone piece, it works aplenty. You’ve got fangs, skin, blood; the works. Want more? Add a satanic ritual (so ‘70s), a loooong one, to the mix before the real action kicks in.
As expected, women are the main target in this London-based flick, and thank goodness for that, for it sure wouldn’t be the same without them. Brunettes, blondes, redheads… all ripe and veined-ready to be Dracula’s next meal. Speaking of redheads, the film greatest moment has got to go to Patsy’s… huh…Joanna Lumley’s encounter with the vampire babes in the mansion cellar. One is chained to the wall, wearing little as possible, while others are emerging from their respective coffins. They all want a piece of La Lumley (and with good reasons; she’s a babe after all) but she’s soon saved by her grand papa Crushing and his associates… Four words to that: damn them to hell! But seriously, behind all of this would-be girl-on-girl action sequence exists an apparent feeling of dread, one that can only be captured by the keen eye of the director himself. If only there had been more of the same during the film almost 90 minute run…
Of course it all comes down to a big battle of the fittest between our two main stars while unconscious Lumley just lie there hoping to get saved once again. Will she ever be? Let’s just say that, supposedly, her character is absent in the next film. Perhaps she’s undead, perhaps she’s still alive. One thing’s for sure, though: the film would not have been the same without her pre AB FAB participation. And for that, a simple Right, cheers, thanks a lot is in order.
You can get a hold of COUNT DRACULA AND HIS VAMPIRE BRIDE by purchasing Mill Creek Entertainment movie sets.
Until next post—Martin
